My 2012 in a nutshell

Since life with a child began, no two days have been the same. This can also be said for this past year. All sorts of new changes and fun new beginnings.
My handy husband rebuilt me a beautiful house and we relocated all of our things here New Year's Day! It has been so nice to be in Corvallis and proximity to work is great.
Carter and I took on the wrangling of the dear Avonlea at the beginning of the year. We have so enjoyed having "The Bean" over to play every morning.
Our family trip to Hawaii in February didn't turn out as planned, but we had a great time playing in the water with Pig and spending time with the fam. Our next trip can only go up from there. "Operation: No operations."
Carter decided one extra baby wasn't enough in the house, so we decided to add miss Ella. It has been such a great experience thus far and we just love having her here and we miss her dearly on days off. How many people can say that about "work"?
I have become totally addicted to yoga. I never thought I would see the day that I would be doing yoga religiously, but more so, that I would miss it on off days. Now if only my up and coming running persona would just follow suit.
Plan=best-shape-of-my-life-pre-baby-#2
What about you, 2013?

Innocence

With a heavy heart and sickened stomach, I find myself coming to write on my neglected blog.
Everyone around the world knows about the horrible events that have taken place in the United States the last few weeks. The scenario that strikes so close to my heart is the Newton Elementary shooting. Whether it be the fact that I have a child that will soon go off to school (which will very likely become home school), or that fact that these little victims of this crime display sheer innocence. These sweet lives were robbed of a future and the potential to a beautiful life.
As I watch my little peanut frolic around the house this morning in nothing but yellow monkey socks, a Santa pajama shirt and a purple bow that she put in her hair all by herself, I can't help but think of how much she is going to change from now until adulthood and how excited I am to see all of the amazing things she will learn, do and change from now on. If she has made such an impact on my life and is barely two years old, the future is abundant.

My heart was broken on Friday as I held Carter in my arms with tears running down my face giving her no less than 200 kisses. I couldn't help but think of the mothers, fathers, siblings, grandparents and friends of the victims in Connecticut and how they will never be able to hold their loved ones again.
How quickly I am to mindlessly float through the daily chores of meals, bath time, diaper changing and whatever messes need cleaning and Lord only knows how many of those I have a day. I find myself taking (too many) pictures and videos of the adorable and sweet little things that Carter does on a daily basis. I wonder how I became so lucky to be blessed with such a funny, smart and loving little girl. The difference in how I look at the "daily grind" since Friday is shameful. How could I have been missing the moments during the ordinary? I can't help but see the wonderful in this most simple of situations and this poor little girl is so sick of my confining hugs and cuddles. I don't want a day to go by that she doesn't know how loved and cherished she is to me. What did I ever do before her?
I honestly do not think I would be able to recover from the loss of a child. The sheer thought of it breaks my heart. It is such a morbid fear to have or even think about. How awful it is to have these massacres happening in our world that would even evoke these horrifying thoughts in the minds of parents everywhere. What these murders have ultimately done is strip away what peace of mind we have for our safety, but also what innocence our children have.
This has been such a scatter brain and unorganized post, I apologize. Basically, I pray for the families and all those changed during these murders. Whether it be the parents to those little angels, the spouses to the teachers, the fellow students who will be forever changed and tainted by the events, or the people around the country who now feel uneasy about going to school, to church or even shopping at the mall. Only God has the ability to change the hearts of the wicked, "wicked" just doesn't seem severe enough to describe these troubled people. May God have mercy on their souls and may He give peace to the the ones that put their trust and faith in Him. Now more than ever, may God Bless America.

Sunday Schooled

I need to get my hands on this book back Max Lucado called "Just Like Jesus." The sermon at church yesterday was on the story of Jesus healing the leper. When asked if He could heal the man, He reached out and touched the man and then spoke the words to heal him. Jesus didn't need to touch the man in order to heal him yet He still touched the diseased man in front of the crowds. Our pastor referred to the leper as an "untouchable" and it really mad me think about the kind of people I would consider untouchable considering leprosy isn't too prevalent here.
What a snob I am. How disgustingly judgmental I am. How am I supposed to exude the love of Jesus if I am so far from loving these "untouchables"? On top of it all, I'm supposed to be setting an example for Carter. I've taught her to love, she has that one down, my prayer for her is to love everyone unconditionally, like Jesus, how I strive to love.

I Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

My Political Moment

 

Can it please be November already?

Unfortunately, with November, silence does not come. It only gets worse.

We either listen to the rest of the Obama supporters come out and apologize for voting him in for yet a second term as "president" or we elect Romney and hear about how everything bad he does is Bush's fault.

I have only voted in one presidential election and clearly my candidate did not win, hence, Barack Obama. This is my first election where I genuinely have been affected by the horrible policy changes this pseudo president has implemented.

Scenario number one. Obamacare. Care? Really? That's almost as hilarious as Michelle Obama promoting a healthy lifestyle to children. The health care in this country has plummeted. Wait. Unless you are among the same people that don't work and live off of the government. But what if you work? You go into your job Monday through Friday to try and provide for yourself and your family without a handout from the government? When told "sorry, your coverage sucks, you should just get Obama care because your insurance can't help you" it makes you wonder how many of these lazy POS' in this country would HAVE to work if they weren't being nursed daily by the government. What ever happened to a sense of pride? Hard work anyone??

I'm also the recipient to many conversations regarding shitty employees. With 23 million people out of work you would think the pool to choose from would be epic. Oh contrare, instead of having a bunch of poor Americans who have been laid off and are viciously searching for work, you have millions of  people that have been supported by the government for so long that they have no need for an actual job. Like getting up in the morning and taking orders from someone who has worked their ass off to even create that job sounds like more fun than watching The View and eating Oregon Trail food. This country has quickly created a generation of lazy, entitled adults that would rather sit on their ass and do nothing than to have an actual job.

With the exception of a few obnoxious commercials and Internet posts, I have steered clear of election propaganda. There are few things as annoying as banter going back and forth about how we are better off now than we were four years ago because Bin Laden is dead. It takes more to win my vote than to completely bash the war and say how horrible it is, up until our Navy Seals capture a terrorist and you are fortunate enough to take all of the credit.

Until we have someone in office that cuts spending, we are screwed. You can raise and lower taxes. Tax the people who make more, because, lets face it, they should have to support more people because they are use to working harder than the rest of the country. Even if you raise their taxes to pay down the 16 trillion (and counting) dollars in debt we have, the pig of a government will just find more places to blow the money. If the money is coming in, they will find SOMEWHERE to put it in order to insure getting the money again because they "need it."

From someone who has been in credit card debt twice, let me just say that we are not the free and happy country that we once were. As long as we owe institutions, SS, China, Japan and the UK  as munch money as we do, we aren't free. We are in debt. Trust me. It's no way to live.

Disclaimer: I realize that there are a lot of people on welfare and unemployment because they physically can not work or find work. Those are the few (emphasis on few) that welfare was designed for. Not the lazy. And in their defence, why not? Many people who work are litereally being pentalized for having a job and their own health care coverage. You are almost better off not having any insurance and simply saying you can't afford it.

Then there's that word again. "Pride". It can be seen along side "Hard Work"

Misery Loves Company

 

Social media was supposedly designed to keep us closer to people we normally wouldn't be in contact with. The more I read about your "bad day" or "on going stomache ache" the less I care about the highs that happen in your life. If you wouldn't send it out in a mass text to everyone in your address book, chances are it is not important enough to post in one of your four-an-hour status updates. No one really cares and the only people that comment about how sorry they feel for you and how they want your day to get better are just attention seeking individuals themselves. You're in good company. All that social media does for me is make me spend wasted time sifting through the 900 pictures you posted of your camping trip last weekend and laugh at how people seeek out pity from people they went to middle school with 15 years ago.

Kudos. You're pathetic.

My Breastfeeding Dilemma

It's the best thing for your baby. I get that and it is why I have breastfed Carter as long as I have. When asking my guru for children rearing advice (my Mommy) about how she weened her 7 kids, the lucky duck said that we all weened ourselves. Helpful. Not. We are almost 2 years old and nursing, or asking to nurse, as much now as she did a year ago. I'm starting to regret teaching her how to talk and use sign language.
I am really struggling with continuing to breastfeed her. I feel like I should as long as she wants to for the nutritional benefits since she is not a huge eater. However, I am getting so burnt out with having her ask for it no less than 15 times a day, or every time I stop moving even for a second. I would hate to have a negative memory of our breastfeeding career. Yes, I call it a career because I feel like its my full time job.
I'm giving this milking station another two months with my fingers and toes crossed that she decides to take the chips and walk away from the table on her own. Lord willing.

ER Vacation

My poor little baby girl. It is the hardest thing I've ever done, watching my little baby poked and prodded and having no idea why. On the one hand, she's young enough that she won't remember any of it, on the other, she's too little to explain why all of it is happening to her.
When they walked us to the operation room doors and I had to hand her to the anesthesiologist, she grabbed on to whatever she could with her hand then wrapped her little legs around my arm. Just looking at me like "why, mommy, why?"
I know her procedure was minuscule compared to what some parents have to go through with their babies, regardless of their age. Even if she wasn't a wee little one it still would have been just as hard to watch. Any time she's in pain I just wish I could be the one doing it for her instead.
By the end of our two day hospital stay she was to the point that any other voice she heard coming in the room would make her cry. Between IV's, chest X-rays (in what looks like a baby torturing device), chest percussionist, vitals, sitting completely still for an hour for an antibiotic IV drip, I hope we don't have to do anything of this sort for a very long time. I've made it 25 years without needing the ER so hopefully she follows suit.
My heart goes out to the incredibly strong mom and dads that are no strangers to the hospital. I can't imagine dealing with that kind I helpless stress on a daily basis.
Thank the Lord for my healthy and happy baby girl, you're worth it.