Two thousand ten came in with a bang while on vacation with my family in Hawaii. Having Kevin come down and surprise me for half of the trip made it the most amazing vacation I have ever been on. As we came home from this amazing trip that we were able to spend with Grandpa Herb and Grandma Darlene, I had no idea what that year had in store.
I had a new years resolution to quit drinking for a few months. Or at least until my birthday in April. I started this new trick as soon as we got home from Hawaii, figured the amount of alcohol consumed while there was enough to hold me over for awhile.
The new and improved, healthy Candice was working out, eating better and staying away from the ever delicious Cosmopolitans, yet still I was getting sick.
I came down with the flu at the end of January, and when it didn't go away for a few weeks I became concerned. For anyone that knows me, you knew that it was very odd that I had zero appetite. Valentines day came and went and consisted of napping all afternoon and a few bites of my mozzarella sandwich at McMennamins. My poor boyfriend was rather disappointed with my unamused reaction to the holiday.
In that following week I figured a trip to the doctor was in order to diagnose this "illness" that I already knew I had. Much to my, not, surprise, I had a little itty bitty peanut. The whirlwind of emotions began.
Happy that the baby was healthy. Scared of, well, everything. Nervous about, everything. How to tell Kevin, my dad and everyone else that I knew was going to look down with their noses in the air.
It took about a month to come to the realization that we couldn't have been happier with this amazing change of events. The hardest part was giving this news to a few people, mainly our parents. In the end, all that mattered was the three of us, or the 2 and a half of us.
As the flu like symptoms were beginning to wear off, we had this not so shocking idea to get married. Having already spent a week together in Hawaii, the conversation of not wanting a big elaborate wedding had already taken place. We wanted something sweet, short and simple. More of a vacation rather than a headache.
On April 6th, I spent the entire day at the spa relaxing. Early evening I met Kevin, his family and my parents at the Courthouse. It was exactly what we wanted, sweet, short and simple. Not about the hoopla or the entertaining of hundreds of people. The people we love and the people that love and supported us were there. A growing baby and a husband in the span of four months, how's that for not wasting any time?
My favorite reaction to all of this news was that of Grandma Darlene. Her genuine excitement and love for Kevin calmed a lot of my nerves. Over and over again she would tell me about her and grandpa's short engagement and how "when you know, you know". As her cancer got worse and worse, she would tell me that she was holding on to meet this little baby. Every trip and pretty much every week came with some sort of a gift from Grandma. I got to have lunch with her the day that the ultrasound showed that we were having a baby girl. She already knew, she said she knew all along.
The baby got bigger, my stomach stuck out further and the house got pinker. We had the house all situated a few months before this baby joined us. As she decided not to come on her due date, we watched as Grandma slipped further and further away. The struggle with time in the last month took longer than the nine months of carrying her. We all wanted Grandma to meet her great granddaughter. With an immediate trip to Sacramento planned whenever this baby chose to make her arrival, we sat by and waited.
Grandma Darlene held on as long as she possibly could. On October 6th, while surrounded by her loving family, she passed away just 12 days before the baby was born. The whole family came together in Sacramento the following weekend to remember and celebrate the amazing life that she lived. As that trip was winding down and we were waiting to fly home, I began to go into labor. We were sitting at Grandma Inge's house when I started to feel what I thought were contractions. Not knowing how they were supposed to feel, I didn't say anything until we landed in Corvallis that afternoon.
We went home, unpacked, showered, ate and I laid around waiting for these so called contractions to start to hurt. Kevin and I decided to go to the hospital late that evening. Once they told me that I was indeed in labor and had already progressed half way, I called my mom and Melinda to come to the hospital. Six hours of labor, multiple cups of ice and many foot massages from Melinda later, we got to meet this little peanut.
Carter Roma Benshoof was born at 3:33am on October 18th. In that split second, I realized where all the cliches about having babies came from. You really don't know love until you've had a baby. How this perfect little thing can do no wrong. And how childbirth really is the most painful thing in the world.
Adjusting to life with a baby went very smooth, I think. I am not sure how many times a day I look at her and wonder how this perfect, beautiful little girl has blessed my life so much. The smiles she gives me by making eye contact have brought me to tears more than once. For being the woman that can count on fingers how many times she has cried in her adult life, being a mother has turned me into the epitome of a softy.
It goes without saying that the past twelve months were more eventful than the rest of my 23 years combined. With somber lows and elating highs, I wouldn't change anything if I could.
I now have the most amazing family. I've been blessed with a wonderful husband and a perfect daughter. My Grandma is now in a better place and out of pain. All the changes take much getting use to, but as my Grandma Darlene told me the last time I saw her, "I am so proud of you, take care of that baby girl for me". If I know nothing else about what 2011 has in store, I do know that. I will take care of baby Carter, Grandma's order!
