Everyone around the world knows about the horrible events that have taken place in the United States the last few weeks. The scenario that strikes so close to my heart is the Newton Elementary shooting. Whether it be the fact that I have a child that will soon go off to school (which will very likely become home school), or that fact that these little victims of this crime display sheer innocence. These sweet lives were robbed of a future and the potential to a beautiful life.
As I watch my little peanut frolic around the house this morning in nothing but yellow monkey socks, a Santa pajama shirt and a purple bow that she put in her hair all by herself, I can't help but think of how much she is going to change from now until adulthood and how excited I am to see all of the amazing things she will learn, do and change from now on. If she has made such an impact on my life and is barely two years old, the future is abundant.
My heart was broken on Friday as I held Carter in my arms with tears running down my face giving her no less than 200 kisses. I couldn't help but think of the mothers, fathers, siblings, grandparents and friends of the victims in Connecticut and how they will never be able to hold their loved ones again.
How quickly I am to mindlessly float through the daily chores of meals, bath time, diaper changing and whatever messes need cleaning and Lord only knows how many of those I have a day. I find myself taking (too many) pictures and videos of the adorable and sweet little things that Carter does on a daily basis. I wonder how I became so lucky to be blessed with such a funny, smart and loving little girl. The difference in how I look at the "daily grind" since Friday is shameful. How could I have been missing the moments during the ordinary? I can't help but see the wonderful in this most simple of situations and this poor little girl is so sick of my confining hugs and cuddles. I don't want a day to go by that she doesn't know how loved and cherished she is to me. What did I ever do before her?
I honestly do not think I would be able to recover from the loss of a child. The sheer thought of it breaks my heart. It is such a morbid fear to have or even think about. How awful it is to have these massacres happening in our world that would even evoke these horrifying thoughts in the minds of parents everywhere. What these murders have ultimately done is strip away what peace of mind we have for our safety, but also what innocence our children have.
This has been such a scatter brain and unorganized post, I apologize. Basically, I pray for the families and all those changed during these murders. Whether it be the parents to those little angels, the spouses to the teachers, the fellow students who will be forever changed and tainted by the events, or the people around the country who now feel uneasy about going to school, to church or even shopping at the mall. Only God has the ability to change the hearts of the wicked, "wicked" just doesn't seem severe enough to describe these troubled people. May God have mercy on their souls and may He give peace to the the ones that put their trust and faith in Him. Now more than ever, may God Bless America.
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